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A few months ago, I kept thinking to myself how tired I felt. Exhausted, overwhelmed, irritated so easily. Just overall burnt out. I didn’t feel like myself at all. It was challenging even dragging myself out of bed in the morning, but I couldn’t figure out why. I had things I enjoyed and nothing had changed in my life (so I thought), but something just seemed off. Like I wasn’t fully living authentically. Even my yoga practice felt more like just motions than the rinse and reset I was used to.

As I was running around one day from place to place doing all the things, it hit me — I really needed to stop and reflect. I was driving and hadn’t even put the music on. I was craving the silence without even realizing it. In that moment, the self-talk was loud, yelling at me the same question I’ve asked times before: “Is this even in alignment with what really matters to me?”

It wasn’t what I was doing that wasn’t lining up — it was how I was showing up. I wasn’t broken, lazy, failing. But I wasn’t living in line with one of my strongest values — living with presence.

What Values Actually Are (And Why They Matter)

In ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), values aren’t goals or checklists. They’re not “achievement vibes.” Values are the deep-down ways you want to show up in the world. They’re how you want to live — even when things feel chaotic or hard. They are your compass, the North Star for how you want to show up in your own life. What will lead to fulfillment and a happy, authentic existence.

They’re not about perfection. They’re about direction.

Your values are what you live — not green check marks you tick off. They guide how to show up in real life, not in ideal circumstances. When it is tough. When you don’t always want to. When there is distraction and conflict, your values keep you on the path.

What do these values look like?

Think:
Valuing presence as a parent
A balanced life where you take rest without guilt
Leading with courage to take risks and go for it
Saying the hard truth because integrity matters to you
Connecting and creating with and for others — because that feels like you.

How We Lose the Compass

It isn’t that one day we just wake up and make a conscious choice to no longer follow our purpose and what matters to us. It’s a slow drift that sneaks up on us, without really noticing.

And it isn’t all that difficult to happen. We get stuck in cycles — the workload increases, it’s hard to say no to the expectations, the to-do list keeps growing — and all the while, we are just trying to keep it all together. Somewhere at that point, the muddled mess in our heads fogs the path in front of us, and instead of consciously making the choices to keep moving in that direction, we shift into reacting. No longer making choices, but instead reacting to the choices that end up being made for us.

And sometimes, there’s a benefit to this… It helps us avoid discomfort — fear, vulnerability, self-doubt — but we end up avoiding our values too.

This was my story. I looked like I had it “together” on the outside, but inside I was feeling completely disconnected. I’d drifted from what mattered to me: presence, balance, connection — with myself and the people that mattered to me, and being of service to a larger community.

Signs You Might Be Out of Alignment

Now, this does NOT mean you’re doing something wrong. But if you feel these describe you, it might be a sign you need to stop and rethink what path you are on:

Do you feel constantly tired and drained? Like you are operating on autopilot? Do you feel your actions and words are reactive instead of intentional? Does your purpose feel far away?
Have you lost touch with your why?

Remember — NONE of that means you are broken. It means it’s time to check in — with yourself, with your path — and see if you can take the wheel again, even in small ways.

And this doesn’t mean everything in your life needs to be evaluated. It doesn’t even mean you’ll make completely different choices. What it does mean is you will become clear — and make those choices with intention.

Even if it is just 5% in that direction — small steps equal big changes.

So, How Do You Realign?

Here’s the good news: As I said above, it doesn’t require a complete life overhaul. Just small, honest shifts.

1. Find times to “Pause and Reflect”
Start to find moments where you can ask yourself:
What do I want this season of life to be about?
Who do I want to be — even when things aren’t easy?

2. Notice Where Your Path is Muddy
This isn’t beating yourself up. It is a time to get curious.
What are you doing out of habit, pressure, fear, or guilt?
What feels disconnected or heavy?
Where can you make small changes?

3. Commit to One Small Aligned Step:
Just one.

This doesn’t need to be a big, grand gesture. Maybe it’s finding 5 extra minutes of undistracted time with your child. Maybe it’s saying no to the task that always drains you. Maybe it’s finding one new hobby or a step toward something that sets your heart on fire.

These do not need to be big gigantic steps to get you back on your path. Small intentional choices will do that for you.

One Final (MOST) Important Thing
You’re not failing.
You’re not behind.
And no, you’re definitely not broken.

When you pause and reflect and that inner critic starts talking, take a breath to help quiet it. Remind yourself these moments are real — and you’re not alone in them. And you have the power to make the choices to realign yourself with your values.

A shift you can make to point you back in the right direction.

Because it’s important to remember: living in line with your values — life doesn’t become perfect.
But it does feel more intentionally like yours.

And that is pretty perfect.